Starting the conversation

One of the most common things I have people say to me is "I'm glad I could talk to you about this." As you've probably guessed, this tends comes at the end of the conversation. So how did we get to that in the first place? Well, let me tell you.

I'm going to start with a very important statement: SEXUAL HEALTH IS ITS OWN CONVERSATION AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO COME UP IN ORDER TO TALK ABOUT IT! This is a hard block to get over, but once you do, the conversation comes naturally. Being able to speak openly about sexual health is a skill that has taken me a while to aquire, but something I now do so often that it doesn't even phase me. Don't get me wrong, I get a lot of side eyes every time I say "vagina" without using my "inside voice", but that isn't really a reflection on me.

Now that we've gotten that out the way, let's get to some actual ways to chit the chat. A personal favourite way of mine is asking "when was the last time you got tested?" Short, sharp, and straight to the point. At the very least, it gets the other people in the conversation thinking. Was it recently? A couple of months ago? Ever? This covers the very basics, with the potential for further discussion.

Perhaps something that outright is a little too bold for you. No worries! How about pulling out a little statistic? For example, did you know that according to the Nuffield Trust, chlamydia made up 48% of new sexually transmitted diagnoses by sexual health services in England in 2017? Now you do! This is a much more indirect approach, plus with the added bonus of learning something new.

My final approach is starting with a personal story. Again, another bold approach, but if you have a story you're comfortable sharing, then this is a sure-fire away to create a comfortable conversation. My favourite personal story is that time one of my partners had been leading me on so I would keep having sex with him, and then accused me of giving them HPV (I will go into this another time, but spoiler - it wasn't from me). Most people have some kind of story to share - from pregnancy scares to mishaps in the bedroom to having to make awkward phone calls - so I have no doubt that if share yours, others will share theirs.

My final piece of advice is TAKE! THE! PLUNGE! Nothing ever gets done by holding back and just thinking about things. You have to be the one to make the first move - otherwise it might not get made.