If you asked any of my friends how you would spot me in a crowd, they would probably give you three descriptors: curly hair, bright colours, and has her nipple piercings on show. I take a lot of pride in my appearance, but is that fitting with my radical feminist ideologies, or is it just internalised misogyny?
First of all, lets get one thing clear: I love the way I look. I love being able to spot myself in any photo within about 3 seconds. I love all the comments I receive about how brightly dressed I am. I love spending hours treating my hair so that it fluffs and curls in a way that makes it unmistakable. There is no doubt in my mind, or anyone who meets me, that I am a confident young woman.
Another thing anyone who knows me will be able to tell you is that I spend a lot of time on how I look. I have outfits planned for events weeks before. I am late to pre drinks because my make up took me longer than expected. My colour coordination is impeccable. Even when I look bad, I still look good. Why is it then, that it is so important to me that I look so good all the time?
On the one hand, I like to be recognised as sexy. I love it when someone cannot keep their hands or eyes off me. I love to be able to flirt with every inch of myself, and not just be restricted to witty comments and subtle touches. Am I just selling myself as a sex object by doing this though? In a sense, yes. By promoting my sexual prowess through how I look, I am just buying into the patriarchal ideas of the "ideal" woman and sexual objectification, and not giving myself a chance to be recognised for everything else that I can do - I'm actually a very talented pianist.
On the flip side, I have to ask myself "who am I doing this for?" The men who get to see a bit of ass when I bend over? No. I do it for ME. I spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, so I better give myself something nice to look at. I dress in a way that makes me feel confident and empowered. My ability to express my personality through my clothes and make up is a gift that I enjoy every single day. It is me who I'm doing this for, and me who gets to enjoy it the most.
In my eyes, feminism is about choice. It's about being able to decide whether I want to dress in a way that makes me look good, or just throwing on the first things I find on the floor and deciding that is the outfit for the day. It's about feeling empowered either way, and doing what I want, not what pleases other people. So if you want to know if caring about my appearance make me less of a feminist, the answer is no, I can still be as offensively feminist as I am, and spend time and effort on the way I look.